


Aftermath

by Practically-pearlfect (Madam_Violet)



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff, Gen, Mental Breakdown, Post CYM, White Diamond is a socially awkward dork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 09:48:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19885609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madam_Violet/pseuds/Practically-pearlfect
Summary: Just after the events of Change your Mind, White Diamond has to adjust to her new life back in the Gem society. But she's not alone facing the aftermath of millennia of denial.





	Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> You can read it as a sequel of "Do Pearls dream about Holographic Sheep". I use the same headcanons, and both are canon compliant with what we know of Gem biology.

The trip back to Homeworld had been a unusually noisy one for White Diamond. With all their communicators on, she could hear Yellow and Blue having a non-stop chattering. Both of them were still under the excitement of the past days. White had lost track for a long time, but she didn't dare closing the voice channel, she didn't want to lose them again. The idea of staying with them, exposed to the all these colors, and the upcoming agitation that was going to shake the Gem kind as a whole for the next hundreds of cycles terrified her. But the idea of returning to the deep silence and darkness of her ship was even worse.

White was conflicted between craving for and dreading company.

Yellow and Blue probably didn't totally trust her, and she could understand why as she wasn't putting a lot of faith in herself either. As soon as they had landed, the two other Diamonds pulled her out of her ship and insisted she stayed in the palace, in one of Blue's rooms. As she was awkwardly dragged by a chirping Blue, she looked around in dismay. So many colors and eyes looking at her from the corridors, halls and walls themselves. 

In her new room, her Pearl was waiting for her in silence. White tried to avoid the small pink being, but she was way too bright and out of place in this pale blue space. She was fidgeting, unable to behave in a Pearl-like manner. It irked White, but there wasn't much she could do about it, so she tentatively broke the silence.

“Is there a problem, Pearl ?”

The tiny Gem shook her head vigorously, then nodded sheepishly.

“Pink... I mean, my Diamond, is this true that...”

White felt something tighten in her chest, but repressed it immediately, putting a smile on her face.

“She's been gone for a very long time, but the Authority is complete again.”

The Pearl broke into tears, sobbing as silently as she could. White was looking at her, this little thing shaken between tears and fear. She feared she was going to break more than she already did.

“I'm sorry, my Diamond...”

“No, don't be. I... I'm sorry.” White almost whispered. “I'm sorry I could not save her, and I could not properly fix you.”

The Pearl looked at her with wide eyes. White looked around her. The room was barren, except for a large padded area lined with pillows. She delicately took the tiny Gem in her hand and put her on the resting bench before her twiggy legs collapse.

“Please, rest for a while and cry as much as you need.”

The Pearl nodded and started weeping. It hurt White to see her like that, unable to stand and smile as a Pearl should. She was already broken, and unable to fulfill her purpose. Like herself, she thought bitterly. All those cycles ago she had been unable to fix her so she had taken the matter in her own hands, restoring the wasted Gem to her original state of perfection. But now she knew it had been useless, because she had lost her own luster long ago. She realised she had only made things worst, as the little Pearl was waking up to discover the tragedy that had hit her previous owner, no, friend. 

What would have Pink done ? What would Steven do ?

White tentatively sat by her side. She looked tiny on the square cushion, weeping in her elbows. No precious drop of her essence could help, she couldn't fix her mind either, and she wasn't really good at talking to Gems. She remembered all the corrupted Gems in Pink's extraction chamber back on Earth. All those colorful little beings touching each other to show their affection. Even Yellow and Blue hugged a lot, so weak for each other. White was feeling weak and defenseless, but she remembered the touch of Steven's tiny hands on her own and the smile on his face. She softly put a finger on the Pearl's back, almost scared to break her as she was so small and already fractured. Pearl withdraw with fear and White immediately pulled her hand away like she had been burnt, looking away in shame. 

Pearl kept crying for a while until she was completely silent. White wondered if she had finally broke. Pearls were her Gems, sharing her essence. All the Pearls, her precious court of silent helpers. But she had grown to see this particular one differently. She had never owned a Pearl before, she didn't need one. It was always a waste to see a Pearl disappear, but White had no idea what she would do if this one disappeared. She was bearing Pink's legacy in her, memories preserved intact for all this time and she needed this presence near to her more than ever, now she had come to her sense and admitted Pink wasn't coming back. But watching the tiny thing sleeping in such an undignified manner under the eyes of the mightiest of Diamonds, she realised she was more than a data bank of Pink's memory. She was made at Pink's image. A tiny Pink she couldn't afford to mess up with. 

The Pearl's gem started glowing and projecting. White wondered if it always happened when Pearls were sleeping. Pearls probably never slept, so who knew ? 

Her projections were a mix of random memories, all about Pink. White flinched at the sight of the lost Diamond. Of course, she hadn't forgotten her face, but it didn't make it better to see it in front of her. A face both familiar and foreign, as the memories were so far away from the Pink she had known. She would have been mortified back then, if she had knew all those tiny things, those mischief accomplished behind her back. But now it only hurt because she wished she could go back in time and have an actual talk. 

It hurt so much, White couldn't face it anymore. Being alone in this place, facing all those memories, all those proofs she had been stupid and ignorant, not knowing her own fellow Diamond. She wanted to run away, to wake Pearl up, to do anything, but she stayed instead, bitterly accepting her own fate and well deserved punishment. In the memories, Pink was talking a lot of nonsense, making fun of Blue and Yellow, but always with fondness, her bitterness never lasting, but she never talked about White. Until she did, with an unusual coldness in her chirpy voice.

“Why should we please her ? She's not even a Gem like us. I wish Yellow and Blue stopped cowering away.”

White started trembling, her massive body unable to keep its posture. Hiding her face in her hands, she collapsed on the cushions and curled into a ball, rolled tight in her shimmering cape. Sobs escaped her throat, soon replaced by a low wailing. It felt like millennia of denial were coming down to her, opening the door to a flood of pain she hadn't dealt with while it was time.

She cried for hours, until her eyes felt dry and sore, her whole face wet and sticky, her body heavy and unable to move, except for shaking and occasionally jolt with spasms. After what seemed like centuries, she was too numb to feel anymore pain. Slumber felt like death, a welcomed relief taking her mind away.

When Blue came back from the emergency Era 3 meeting, she found White curled on the bed, glowing in a light blue hue. Sitting by her side, Pink Pearl was stroking her arm with a compassionate smile under teary eyes.


End file.
